Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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