i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think your dad took our porno
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
