I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
