I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ladies don't puke and tell
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
