I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
