it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
