I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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