I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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