We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
