There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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