He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize