We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
