R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
