Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize