is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
