My Higher Power is John Stamos
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
