i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just google imaged poop.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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