We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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