the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
