spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I FOUND THE LEGS
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
