I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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