dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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