we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
