um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
not ubering you a puppy
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