Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
