He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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