Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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