Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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