I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
