I smell stomach acid.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
