If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
