she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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