You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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