so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
