at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize