Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How external is "for external use only"?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
