On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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