I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
