he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
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Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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