Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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