just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
