cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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