Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
