are you still at the devil's house?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this must be what syphilis tastes like
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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