i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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