Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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