btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
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hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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