I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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