So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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