I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize