My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You made out with two different species that night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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