This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
