If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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