It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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