i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
