He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
