just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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