So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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